Not shown are my Justin Bieber-themed valentine that features the teen hearthrob himself saying “Will You Bieber Mine?”, my produce-themed valentine featuring the photograph of one of those weird warty squashes saying “I Love You, Warts and All”, and the valentine I received from my roommate’s boyfriend that has a picture of Kurt Cobain saying “I Courtney Love You”

…

you guys should have come to my 2nd annual valentines crafting party, is all i’m saying.

Back in November me ‘n the boy toy went on a little weekend trip out to Eastern Oregon. We experienced snowy mountains, dry grasslands, rocky canyons, winding river gorges… all of this and more can be experienced within an 8 hour round-trip drive from Portland. We drove south through Mt Hood National Forest and then east out to Dayville, OR, and then after we were done having our fun there we drove north through the John Day Monument and then west along the Columbia River Gorge. We checked out a fossil museum, hiked through Blue Basin Canyon, ate at a dairy queen, stayed at an inn where we were the only occupants, and experienced life as Painted Hills residents where everything closes at 7pm. We also got stopped by a friendly police officer, had to air up our own tires, and had a home-cooked breakfast at the only cafe in town. It’s like they say, “when in dayville…”

Really enjoyed this road trip with ol’ Breezy. We’re doing it all over again this weekend except this time we’re headed up to Seattle and then a cabin on Orcas Island. Love that spot. Weather is supposed to be crap so we’ll see what kind of shots I get…

It’s holiday time and it looks like YOU need to do some last-minute shopping for your special someones. I put together some card sets and the prints I had left from my gallery showing earlier this year – I finally got around to packaging them all up and putting them up for sale. Check out my etsy shop and become a bonafide patron of the arts.

A few months back my roommate wanted to do something (really, really) nice for her long-distance boyfriend. So we took some boudoir photos and she made ‘em into a book. I’m not going to say my pictures work miracles, but I’ll put it to you this way: he lives in Portland now.

Some of these pictures are never-before-seen and they are some of my very favorites that I’ve ever done. I’d love to shoot some for you so if you are looking to do a set for yourself or someone else, send me an email These photos were shot with my Mamiya C330F using both black and white and color negative film.

Doesn’t this video make you want to trash a shopping mall, declare your inner worth, and dance around your bedroom while singing into a hairbrush?
One sad fact is that not only was this band short-lived, but they never released this album on vinyl. How am I supposed to listen to the recording with all the production integrity that Gregg Alexander intended? I recommend you take a listen to this great, little-known record, and maybe afterwards, put on some Third Eye Blind.

It all started when a customer of my mom’s company sent in two of them as holiday gifts. I happened to stop in that day and my KringleKraze was born. I’m not usually a huge danish/donut/coffeecake fan but man these things are good. They’re gooey, just the right amount of sweetness, and have the most flaky, delicious, buttery pastry you could ever hope for. So far I’ve only tried the raspberry and pecan versions (their most popular) but this year is going to change all that because my mom is sending me FOUR for Thanksgiving! Two for my Thanksgiving dinner, and two to bring into the office.

For my own Thanksgiving feast, I chose pumpkin cheese and cranberry Kringles:

For the office I chose butter rum and raspberry Kringles:

They are pretty inexpensive, and I guarantee if you share them at work or with your family they will be devoured almost instantly. I went through a whole one myself a year or so ago in almost no time at all. They are best if you warm them up in the oven! HURRY UP THANKSGIVING, I WANT MY KRINGLE, AND I WANT IT FAST.

LOOK! – Even President Obama luvs his Kringle!

Then one day I was at work, still thinking about this burger. And decided to google “best burgers in Portland”. I came upon one of the best articles ever written, “Burger Quest” which appeared in the Willamette Weekly a few years ago. I didn’t hyperlink here because right now it seems wweek.com has some malware floating on it, and I don’t want to give you a virus! I’ll check back in a few days to see if it’s fixed. But anyway, the author ate over 70 burgers in a few months, and then ranked his top ten, and included pictures! My burger obsession was born, and I decided I was going to eat every buzzworthy burger in town.

One month and a gained 7 pounds later (yes, it’s true), I had eaten 8 burgers and documented them all. This is more burgers than I’ve eaten in the past 3-4 years at least. I think I’ll lay off a little in November, but there’s still a few I am meaning to try! Let’s get started:

Killer Burger, before

Killer Burger, after

Next up was a return visit to Slow Bar.

As delicious as the above picture looks, this time looks are deceiving. The patty was cooked correctly, but lacked any seasoning whatsoever. Even the onion rings were bland. I layered every condiment and veggie on the thing but it barely had any flavor. I don’t know if they messed something up back there or if the appeal of the mile-high stack of onion rings simply wore off, but it just didn’t do it for me this time around and I’m in no hurry to go back. Ok, maybe I’ll give them a third chance. But it just needed something more to it. Maybe more flavorful cheese? Or bacon? Wait, did it have it already? I dunno. I rate my first visit an A, and my second visit a C-.

I then took a little walk down to my favorite neighborhood bar and restaurant, C-Bar, just a few blocks from my house.

C-Bar has great food and cocktails and I’ve always enjoyed everything I’ve gotten there (especially their brunch and their “Pork-N-Bells” sandwich. Mmm.) Their burger is a pretty standard bar burger but it was tasty nonetheless. I got mine with bleu cheese on it which made it a little tangy and salty. It’s a decent burger, but there’s no special need for me to order it again with better things on the menu. Also, not shown – I’ve had their veggie burger too and although their recipe is tasty the veggie patty was pretty dry. I give their bona fide burger a solid B to B+.

Next on my list is my favorite burger to date, FOSTER BURGER

Foster Burger is… mmmm. It’s a nice 10-20 block walk from my house so I get some exercise in before and after. Their burger is my favorite burger overall that I have tried in Portland (closely tied with the Le Pigeon burger, but for the price, it edges ahead). The burgers all start the ol’ fashioned way for $5 I think, and then you add your desired toppings a la carte. I got mine with swiss (i think?), carmelized onions, bacon, and a sunny egg. Next time I’ll swap out the egg (didn’t add much flavor or texture but I do love me a runny yolk on a sandwich) for their pickled beets which I have heard are awesome. The burger was served on the most delightful soft brioche bun which makes eating it really easy – I hate hard bread rolls you have to tear through to get to your burger. Their fries are delicious too, but don’t order the bowl of ‘em – it’s too many! Get the basket. I give this burger an A+ and I want one right now!

My next burger was acquired at Gruner. I was soooo excited to visit this fancy-pants restaurant for their burger. It was ranked really highly on Burger Quest, looked delicious, and a coworker named it as his favorite burger in town.

Sadly, I was disappointed. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a delicious burger, and trust me, I ate the whole thing. However, it was on one of those way-too-sturdy buns that doesn’t tear as it should when you are biting through it, making it a huge ol’ mess. The patty’s seasonings were off for me. I heard it was cooked in bacon or duck fat? But I don’t recall that adding any flavor to it. The toppings were so-so. I dunno. It’s an expensive burger and you have to order greens or potatoes separately. If the burger is gonna cost $12, it better be damn good and come on, can’t you throw me a few smashed potatoes? Every other place in town does! I rate this burger… a B- , mostly for not living up to its price.

Next up was the Biwa burger, only served after 9 on weekdays, or 10pm on weekends.

This was another burger I was very excited to try, and again I was disappointed. I wish I had thought to put the pickled onion/potato mixture that came on the side on the burger because I think that would have improved the overall experience. This burger’s claim to fame is that it is seasoned like gyoza (dumpling) filling and it’s kind of a Korean? Japanese? spin on the American burger. I thought it was way too salty, and a little dry. The pork on top was nice, but the bun, while soft which I appreciate, was one of those white-bread sesame-seeded horrors that comes out of a supermarket plastic bag, or at least it seemed to me. I suggest dialing down the salt, adding a complimentary condiment, and getting some better bread. Won’t be ordering this one again. Sorry Biwa, you get a C-

The last burger that I had was the fantastic Le Pigeon burger, served at Le Pigeon’s sister restaurant, Little Bird Bistro, downtown.

The Le Pigeon burger was originally served at famous Portland French restaurant, Le Pigeon. It has a cult following because the chef there only makes 5 a night, so if you want one you better be there when the place opens at 5pm. However, Little Bird serves them all night, so I headed down there to see what all of the fuss was about. Oh man. This burger. It has delicious melty cheese, carmelized onions, crisp shredded lettuce, and this tangy mustard stuff that really does the burger right. The bun is perfect ciabatta (I think?) made at Pearl Bakery or Grand Central or something like that (do your own research). The fries are hand-cut, salty, seasoned with deliciousness and the patty itself was perfectly seasoned and cooked perfectly. This probably is my favorite burger in town, but since it’s $12 or $13, I’ll go to Foster Burger more frequently. But yeah…. this burger is definitely something to write home about and I’ll definitely be trying at the original spot at 5pm sharp to see how it compares! This burger gets an A++

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Well, there you have it! Not shown is Hilt’s happy hour veggie burger which was quite good but not techinically a “burger” and I didn’t take a picture of it. I give that burger a B+, and it was mad cheap! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have go run some laps, and plan what burgers to eat in November.

It really was quite frightening, so much so that my special manfriend looked at me with disdain and recoiled a little at my loving smile. Come on Brian, it’s still me under there! I was supposed to be a zombie, but I came out looking more haglike than I bargained for.

Next up was something a lil more family friendly – my old standby – my Waldo costume! I came up with this two Halloweens past, and it was easy and comfortable enough for me to wear to work today. The first three people at work who saw me had no idea who I was supposed to be! What do you mean, you’ve never heard of Waldo?? He’s a 90′s pop culture icon, and don’t you forget it!

Happy Halloween everyone! I’ll either be sitting on my Waldo’d ass at home, or going to Hallow-ingo (Halloween Bingo) at The Woods. Hope you get lots of tricks, or treats, or whichever you prefer!